Playing out Feelings

Remember, small children rarely have the language and emotional maturity to voice what they are feeling. Playing helps them to work through their emotions and process their days appropriately. Be a part of this process 🙂

How many times have you tried to talk with your child about a problem without success? Many well-intentioned parents and therapists share in a similar experience: time after time, the words just don’t seem to reach your child. Play therapy is an evidence-based treatment approach that targets the medium of communication which is developmentally appropriate for children. That medium is play.

Play has long been considered the language of children. It is the way in which children explore their experiences, feelings, and integrate themselves with their world. Play therapy builds on the developmental task of play as the therapist supports the child in using the play to resolve problems. Engagement in play therapy allows children to experience (in the present) control and gain mastery. This feeling of control is necessary for the child’s healthy emotional development.


1. The ability to process emotions that they may not be able to express in other ways

Children do not always have the language skills to convey what they are feeling in words, especially if they experience traumatic events at very young ages. Instead, they may express their pain in ways that are undesirable or maladaptive, such as exhibiting defiance, having severe tantrums, crying frequently, becoming socially withdrawn, being unusually clingy, or refusing to attend school. In play therapy, the therapist provides children with a more adaptive method of express themselves – the language of play. Play therapists are specially trained to understand, interpret, and respond to children’s play communications and to increase parents’ abilities to “talk” to their children through play

2. A decrease in undesirable behaviours and an increased capacity regulate their own     behavior

Once children begin to express their feelings through play, you will begin to see a decrease in unwanted behaviors. Further, play therapy will help your child develop skills that allow them to manage their own behaviours. In the play therapy sessions, your child will be given opportunities to test limits in a safe environment, allowing them to increase their awareness of the consequences of their actions. For example, your child may choose to smash their clay creation, but will then learn that once they have destroyed what they made, they will no longer have it. These lessons teach children to make thoughtful decisions.

 3. Development of independence and creative thinking

Children often spend a large part of their day being told what to do. Of course, this is necessary, as there are many decisions that children cannot yet make for themselves. However, it is also crucial that children learn to think for themselves. This is especially true for children who are emotionally vulnerable or have experienced traumas or significant life changes, as they may feel an acute lack of control over their lives. In play therapy, your child is the leader. For the most part, they control what happens in the room by selecting the activities that they participate in. Play therapy provides your child with the opportunity to make choices for themselves in a supportive environment. The play therapy room is a nonjudgmental space where your child can express him or herself freely.

4. Improvement of social skills and the ability to respect others

Play therapy is about your child, but it is also about your child’s relationship with the therapist. In the trusting relationship that your child will develop with their therapist, your child will have the opportunity to test out different aspects of social interactions with the therapist without fear of permanently damaging the relationship. For example, your child may choose whether to cheat during a board game to explore how the therapist will react, and the therapist can explore this choice with your child. The toys in the play therapy are also specially selected to allow your child to explore different social roles, such as nurturing baby dolls or dressing up as a police officer. Play therapy will help your child to understand the thoughts and feelings of other people, and this understanding will transfer over to relationships with family and friends.

5. Stronger relationships with family members

Although the play therapist is a trained professional, they are not the most important person in your child’s therapy. YOU are the most important person in your child’s therapy, and the most important person in their life! Although you may not be in the room while therapy takes place, you will be an active participant in your child’s therapy by bringing them to sessions, meeting with the therapist as needed, and supporting your child in implementing the skills they learn in therapy at home. One of the most important goals of play therapy is to make your relationship with your child the best it can be. It can be very difficult and stressful to parent a child who is exhibiting distress. Play therapy will reduce this distress, providing you with more opportunity to simply enjoy spending time with your child.

Feel free to contact me with any further questions.

Tyla x

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